Alice in Germany

My German mitfahrgelegenheit driver the other week was quite friendly and chatted about his occasional business trips to America.

He said he found Americans to be “everything that Germans are not: they are proud of their country and they just ‘do things’”.

The first statement I have heard so often I could virtually feel it flow over me and I wondered if perhaps Germans are taught to say this in school. I realised, with slight alarm, that I had subconsciously assumed that not only do I know what the answer would be, but that I know how the whole conversation would play out.

My assumption of course was that taking that path would lead to a conversation about the effect of ‘the war’ on current German attitudes. An interesting discussion the first few times but by now my end of the conversation was bound to be a no-brain never ending cliché which lead me to assume that his would be too. I thought I would save us both the agony, while making a mental note to myself about the dangers of assumption.

Possibly the statement verged on rhetoric for my driver as well as he ignored this point and went on to expand on his second (with something like a wild glint in his eyes): in America he had seen people come together to race trail bikes. People don’t just “do things like that in Germany! There is a law limiting you doing everything” he lamented.

To be fair, I thought as a quick list flashed through my mind, many things in Germany have been blessed with the big legal tick:

 Driving on roads without speed limits (yea sure there is the odd ‘speed recommendation’)
 Using fireworks whenever and wherever you like (as far as I can tell).
 Pornography in every suburban video store (seems to take up half the stores that I frequent).
 Drinking alcohol on the street.
 Riding a push bike without a helmet (sure not a biggy but legal non the less)

However it is true I am yet to come across a rally bike track.

Despite such a seemingly long list of legal activities there is something in the air that suggests one shouldn’t push the ‘clean legal fun limits’ in Germany …. perhaps this stems from all those people waiting obediently at traffic lights or maybe it is the constant ringing of church bells. There are things you can do (get trashed and partake in a good old fashioned soccer riot) and there are things you shouldn’t do (forget coffee and cake in the afternoon) and there are things not to be done (not be insured against everything that could possibly go wrong).

“Germans just aren’t allowed to be spontaneous like that” my driver continued.

From breakfast to fast driving there is a ‘proper’ way to do things. What need is there to drive paddock bombs over dirt tracks when you can drive your brand new Audi 200km down the autobahn?

If it can be done it is ‘perfected’ or is being perfected.

If it could cause damage there is insurance. If nobody will insure you don’t do it.